13 Life Lessons from the Film Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)

Under the Tuscan Sun is an American romantic comedy drama film in 2003. It is loosely based on the book Under the Tuscan Sun: At Home in Italy by an American author, university professor, poet, and literary reviewer, Frances Mayes. 

The story is about Frances, who is then struggling in writing her latest book when her husband filed a divorce to marry the woman he was having an affair with. Because her life totally changed after the divorce, she eventually accepts her best friend, Patti's offer of a vacation because Patti thinks she needed an intervention after the depressing incident. The vacation trip was a gay tour in Tuscany which was originally purchased by Patti and her lesbian partner Grace. 

During the trip, she bought a villa in Cortona and begins a new life there, with the help of interesting yet calm characters. 

Bramasole as seen from the movie.

I was actually a bit hesitant to watch it because the trailer looked a bit boring for me but there is something about the title that makes me want to watch it and I never regret spending more than an hour. Moreover, Diane Lanes portrayal of Frances Mayes is so natural. 

The film teaches us a lot of lessons about life. Here are some of them: 

"It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck.  It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you", it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known of course but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid." ~Frances 

1. FEAR MAKES PEOPLE STUPID

Alright. So Mayes was talking about divorce here but we can all think of love in the same way, when someone who promised you a lot of things would break the promises eventually. There are times when we really know about the infidelity but we act blind and pretend we don't know it because we are too scared to loose the person or the person we are when we are with them. But that has to change. We should never be afraid. We should never be afraid because we are all worthy of a loyal love and we shall not stoop our levels down just to be with a person who doesn't see our worth. 

(which leads us to...)

Frances:  (to herself) "You are so stupid to buy a house for a life you don't even have."

Senior Martini: "Why did you do it then?"

Frances: "Because I'm sick of being afraid all the time and because I still want things."

2. STOP BEING AFRAID

No one has the right to stop us to do what we want to do. People are stuck in the four corners of their safe zones because they are afraid to get out and start pursuing the things they want. No matter what the results of the decisions might be, the benefit will still be yours. Either you "succeed" or you 
"learn". 

"Between Austria and Italy there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew someday the train would come." 

~Senior Martini 

3. HAVE FAITH 

Not because bad things happen doesn't mean no good things will come our way. It is always a choice between staying in a bad situation and doing something to change it. With faith, your actions will always be equipped with motivations and hope that everything will be fine in the end. It is always better to be motivated than to be negative. 

"Regrets are a waste of time. They're past crippling you in the present. 

~Katherine 

4. DON'T WALLOW ON REGRETS

There are times when we spend time thinking of the bad/hurtful/embarassing things that we did in the past but newsflash! You already did it. Nothing can erase the fact that what's done is done and no matter how you cry or be embarassed or be mad about it, it's over. So choose to forget and move on. 

"There's only so much you can take before there comes a time when you really just have to get out."

~Frances 

5. EVERYBODY HAS A LIMIT.


This is so right for me. There are times when I really take all the bad things that people are doing and I'd like to pretend that I am not hurt because I want to please them. Then there was one time when they totally reached my limit and I just exploded. I said hurtful things and insults and other things that was inside me for a long time and I regretted what I did and said after that. Sometimes it's not good to wait till you reach your limits. But sometimes, you will only know your limits till you reach it. 

"When I was a little girl, I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. Finally, I just gave up and fall asleep in the grass. When I woke up, they were crawling all over me."

~Katherine

6. WHEN YOU GET TIRED, REST.

Things has a way of showing up when you are not finding. We all have that time when we spend time looking for something (or someone) that/who isn't there and when we finally give up, it shows up. Life has lots of opportunities and surprises, don't stress yourself too much. You will eventually get it when you least expect it. 

"If you smashed into something good, you should hold on until it's time to let go."

-Marcelo 

7. HOLD ON.

Not all good things are forever. So while we still have time, hold on to it. However, if it's time to let go, don't be afraid of loosing your grip. What matters is you became happy while it is still there. 

People have their way of pushing people who love them and I think that's stupidity. People come and go. Appreciate them while you still have them. Don't be too sad when people let go of you or when you come across a friend who became a stranger. That's probably the time to let go. Just remember the happy times you had together and you will not regret knowing the person. 

Patti: "I refuse to screw up your love life." 

Frances: "Don't be ridiculous Patti. You are my love life." 

8. GOOD FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS OR NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU ARE FROM EACH OTHER. 

Patti surprised Frances one day in her doorstep. She travelled all the way from San Francisco to Tuscany just to see Frances. When Frances learned about Patti's breakup with her partner, she never left her side. 

Frances chose Patti over her boyfriend Marcelo several times because Patti is someone "important". She was on her way to Marcelo when Patti needed her but she stayed beside Patti. True friends will never leave you.  

"You know who I really love the most from all the films? Cabiria. You remember at the end when another man has left her in the most terrible way, and she thinks it's all over for her? Then she sees some children playing in the street, making music and before she knows it she is smiling again."  

~Katherine 

9. FIND HAPPINESS IN GRIEF.

Sadness sucks all the energy in a person and it resurrects all the negativities your heart has no matter how long it was forgotten. Don't be an island when you're depressed. Go out, enjoy the sunshine, feel the grass, smell the flowers, watch the children, enjoy music. It's the little things that give us joy. Okay, I know this may sound like a bit of a cliche but trust me, it works. You may not forget what happened immediately but a second of smile in your face diminishes the loneliness. 

"No matter what happens, always keep your childish innocence. It's the most important thing." 

~Katherine 

10. KEEP YOUR CHILDISH INNOCENCE.

When I was a kid, I want to grow up immediately. I wanted to do what people older than me are doing. Now at 27, I miss my childhood and if there is one thing I would like to go back into, that was when I was 10. Well, we all know that could never happen. We are grown ups now but there are times when we still enjoy licking an ice cream, dancing in the rain. eating lollipops, blowing bubbles, finding the shapes in the clouds, or licking the bowl. Who cares? Our childish innocence makes us young again. 

"Happy is about a lot of things. It's not just about young passion."

~Chiara's Mother 

11. USE YOUR BRAIN.

We all fall in love. I don't know about you but I always equip my emotions with proper reasoning and thinking before I get into a relationship. Haha! I respect your ideas about love and passion and relationships but happiness doesn't just depend on love. It depends on so many things. When I was a teenager, I thought I was really, totally, overly, head over heels with one person but as I mature, my standards changed. What I like when I was 15 was so different when I was 20 which was so different when I was 25 which was so different from now. Point is, we can never trust young passion. But don't lecture me about contentment. Been there. Done that. 

Frances: "A love that last foreveer" 

Chiara's Father: "What you describe is all in fairytales."

Frances: "No it's not"

Chiara's Father: "And how do you know? From personal experience? "

Frances: "No, I looked for it and I didn't find it but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

12. FOREVER EXISTS.

The word "forever" will not be invented at the first place if it doesn't exist. Not because most relationships around you did not succeed doesn't mean forever is impossible. Not because unfaithfulness and deceit are common in our society doesn't mean everyone will do that. Love fades if only you'll let it. 

"Unthinkably good things can happen even late in the game. It's such a surprise."

~Frances 

13. LET LIFE SURPRISE YOU 

As long as you are breathing, you still have chance to be surprised with what life has to offer you. Even bad things turn our different than what we expect. "Life offers us a thousand chances, all we have to do is get one." Let life surprise you.  

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Enough of the SF movies for now. I'm in the mood of some throwback movies. So have you already watched Under the Tuscan Sun? Let me know your thoughts.